Serving God When You’re “Unqualified”
Let’s be honest. I’m not perfect. I’m in the process of being humbled into realizing the imperfect walls that I’ve built to “protect me”; even though they just end up isolating me or caving in.
I’m starting to let Yah fix me. He’s changing me. And there’s a lot of work on my part. Willingness to change takes a lot of effort. And sticking with the changes takes even more. Yahweh is doing a work in me.
Because I’m not good enough, yet.
Stay with me here.
I believe in being confident. I believe to truly love someone as your own soul, you must love your own soul.
But, we all have character flaws that tend to show up when the going gets tough. Those walls we’ve built. And we hold on to them. We cling to them under the guise of “that’s just the way I am.” “I’ve accepted myself and I love myself”.
Part of truly loving yourself, I think, is accepting that you have some negative tendencies that you need to improve.
Like last week…
I was walking on stage to be apart of leading worship. I didn’t know the songs well, because everything was thrown together last minute due to an illness. Then the keys were switched from the ones I went over the night before. There was only one piece of sheet music and I couldn’t see it from where I was standing. I didn’t understand how the sound system worked. It was a new setting and environment.
20 minutes before we were about to start, I was putting my guitar down. I decided not to play, because I wasn’t prepared.
“Don’t quit just cause it’s hard.” My friend said to me as he walked by.
I thought, Okay. But you’re not in my position—
Don’t quit just because it’s hard.
I got it.
The thing is that, I Danielle Andrea Kerr, individually, am not the most important person on God’s planet Earth.
No one was prepared and yet the church sat in front of us and they needed someone to lead the songs to praise God. My friends were ready to fill that role because it was needed of them. They were ready to serve even though they weren’t 100 percent prepared for the situation of service. We were the only ones to do the job.
Why was I the only one ready to give up when we were all in the same boat? What if everyone had decided to quit? I was ready to abandon ship and leave the hard work to my friends so that I didn’t mess up in front of people.
And just so you know, it’s really hard writing that. I’m not an awful person, I swear. But it’s really difficult to look at where you are wrong or sub-par and then try to correct it. It’s a hard thing to look at yourself and realize that in some cases quitting is a product of vanity. Not always, but sometimes.
So, I grabbed my guitar and we all led worship. Together. And it went wonderfully.
I think we all want to serve Yahweh. I do, at least. But as soon as there is a job to do that makes us uncomfortable, we start listing off all the reasons why we shouldn’t serve.
But there are no excuses. Because Moses wasn’t a good enough speaker. Gideon was “the least in his father’s house”. The shepherd boy, David, was too.
This isn’t about us. It’s about being willing to do the work if Yah calls you to do it, even if you aren’t prepared.