Danielle Kerr

Boldly embracing and promoting Hebrew culture
The Wedding Day is NOT the Bride’s Day…and Other Things No One Told Me

The Wedding Day is NOT the Bride’s Day…and Other Things No One Told Me


Hello ladies, I’m not going to make this post especially lengthy, but I wanted to share some thoughts on young marriage. Obviously, I’m young and so I haven’t been married that long, but each day of marriage can be a lesson if you let it.  These are some things I’ve learned along the way.

1. The wedding day is NOT the bride’s day

Let’s start with the wedding because this is the beginning of your life together as a couple. I’m not sure where the phrase “the bride’s day” came from, but it’s been around for awhile, even in Christian circles. I had quite a few people tell me that the wedding my fiance and I were planning was “my day”, so I needed to make sure I got exactly what I wanted even if it my husband hated it. Let me say this, the wedding is NOT the bride’s day. And it is not the groom’s day. It is the day where two people are coming together to make a public declaration of their new life together as a committed couple in a sacred covenant. It takes two and you can’t selfishly exclude one member of the couple in order to get want you want for the wedding. If that’s the way you want it, you should marry yourself, because being in a relationship is hard. It’s much harder than planning a wedding. If you start your marriage off selfishly that’s exactly how you’ll finish. The wedding day is about both of you.

2. “Happy wife, happy life” is a lie.

I’m thankful to have a husband who doesn’t subscribe to that saying. Like the wedding, a marriage consists of two people. Also like the wedding, one person’s needs and desires can’t be held above the other’s. If “happy wife, happy life” were actually true, then every single married man in an unhappy relationship would be the sole reason for the strife. If he would just do exactly what his wife wanted all of his problems would be solved and he would be completely happy forever. But that isn’t the case. Again, it takes two. If one person is always giving in to the other, then resentment and strife emerge, not happiness.

3. Your husband’s dirty laundry on the floor isn’t that big of a deal.

It’s always funny to me because so many ladies get so defensive when I say this. So let me explain myself before I start a war.  I’ve already learned in my little experience that often times, little things such as dirty underwear on the floor, can lead to big and unnecessary arguments. There’s obviously nothing wrong with asking your husband to be sanitary or to help around the house, but nagging and getting upset over something as little as underwear can sometimes be a big waste of time and energy.  So what I’m saying is, let’s not let little things turn into long, weary nights and unnecessary fights.

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